Words

I've never had a good memory. I can recall very weird events in my life, but not any "monumental" days like, the first day of high school- or when I lost my first tooth.

I can remember a car-ride with my grandmother right before my sister was born, and wanting to name HER Michael.
I remember one specific night probably in about the 3rd grade, my dad was praying and laying in my sister's bed before we went to sleep, when it was my turn that night... and being so irrationally angry.
I remember waiting in line to see Santa at the mall with my sister, and having a very intellectual (at age 7) conversation with her about the existence of Santa based upon how the people in line with us smelled.
I (sort of) remember telling my sister to touch a car cigarette lighter in our family's minivan.... and she did. She also burned the whole tip of her finger.

There's one memory that has replayed in my mind for years and years that I've been sharing with the kids this week:

Laura Coleman and I began sharing a room when our brother was born- and shared one until I went to college. Our living spaces couldn't have been any different. She is so organized, put together, tidy, and I'm pretty much.... the opposite. She's always been that way, and something I've always secretly envied. It just does NOT come easily to me.

Anyway, in elementary school, we got inflatable furniture in our shared room. Yes, you read that correctly, inflatable. It was a love seat that we placed under a window and it was so... classy. Joke! We had that beautiful piece of furniture for about 3 weeks until Laura Coleman decided to hop on it after an exciting round of Pacman. It popped.  You would have thought I had seen puppies being strangled. I was so angry. Everything that I had hostility about, the cleanliness, the lines on the floor to indicate the division of "sides", the purple home landline, that she kept on HER side- it came spewing out. Oh, the horror! I'm embarrassed to tell all of you the things that made me mad in Elementary school. But, hey, this blog serves as a little bit of therapy for my twisted brain.

Instead of calmly, trying to duct tape the hole in the furniture, I began yelling. This is what I yelled at my baby sister: "I would rather live on the side of the road, naked, and with rats than share a room with you!"

Really?

Those words?

There are comments like this one, that follow you around for a long time. Telling my sister that, has haunted me for years. This is the point that I've been trying to get across to the kids this week. Our words have the power of life and death- scripture tells us that! It also tells us that our words can act as sweet honey in the life of someone else, and they can act as healing.  But, scripture also says that our words can be as piercing and as deadly as viper's venom. I believe it. I've experienced the words that are like honey, that are like a healing balm. But, I've also received hurtful comments that have made me want to crawl in a hole.

As I've been rehashing my own childhood in order to bring insight to our beautiful kids moving into middle school, all I can say is, you want your family (and everyone around you) to love Jesus more because of your life...NOT in spite of it. Our words should fuel that desire, not hurt it.

I highly recommend a book called "Speak Love" by Annie Downs for any of our rising 6th graders. It's an easy read about making your words matter from a biblical perspective. A large portion of the book is focused on... family.

My sister and I are living proof that words matter. Have we gotten in some heated arguments? You better believe it. Do we still have them? Yes. But, as we've both moved away from home and have gone to college, we've learned the beauty and gift of having a sister, and siblings. They are the only people who will be your life-long best friends. And, they're great practice for learning to love people on the hard days. Laura Coleman still drives me crazy some days, but, she's one of the very few people who knows how I tick, who can give me the most level headed advice, and who has the best sense of style. That obviously got lost in my genetic makeup. Today, her friendship and very presence, I treasure more than my words can describe. So much so, I tried to convince her to spend her spring break in Dalton... it didn't work.

So, Laura Coleman, sorry for telling you I would rather be a naked, homeless, rat feeder than share a room with you. That isn't true. I love you and I wish we were sharing a room this. very. second.