Thursday Ritual

I met my best friend fall semester of my freshman year of college. She was a beautiful, tall and bubbly girl from North Georgia that lived on my hall. We shared one freshman class together about the life of C.S. Lewis. I knew from the start she was my kind of people. She was immensely more organized than I was (am). Her room was the cutest one on the hall. She was SUCH a better dancer at the fraternity houses.  She was more outgoing and was so gifted in vocalizing her faith. I, on the other hand, turned in wrinkled papers, had a faux leather futon in my room, wore t-shirts with cardigans to the fraternity houses, and was so unbelievably close minded. I am laughing out loud writing this. BLESS.

Fast forward through freshman year,  as we went home with each other on breaks, pledged the same sorority, and worked at a summer camp together. Sophomore year rolled around, and we were roommates. With our majors and extra curricular activities pulling us in opposite directions, we often only saw each other as we were getting in bed in the wee-hours of the morning. So, we started our Thursday ritual. Thursdays at 11am, there were no classes scheduled. Every week, professors had department meetings in this block. Meaning: everyone flooded the ONE dining hall for an early lunch. At PC, it was hard to go anywhere or do anything without other people. Which was AWESOME, but when you need some down, non-togetherness time, it was a bit difficult.

Sarah Beth and I would grab to-go boxes on Thursdays at 11 o'clock religiously, and would eat lunch together in the floor of our room. This often meant each of us would have to turn down other lunch plans to eat together. I almost always got a turkey and cheese sandwich, and Sarah Beth always ventured into some healthy veggies with a few picked apart cookies. We wrapped Christmas lights where the ceiling met the wall in our room, and it was so comfy- and the most cozy room on the hall.  That hour usually involved Grey's Anatomy muted on the TV as we purposefully chatted about what was going on. Our door would stay closed, which was rare for our hall at the time. We would set aside this time once a week. Our time together was (and still is) good for the soul. It encouraged me.  It was something I could count on. I think because we learned that year that our friendship was important, something worth investing in, she's still the person I call for guidance, insight, prayer and encouragement. I know she wants the best for me. What a gem, that Sarah Beth.

As I've learned to better manage my time, I've now realized that no one can live on naps alone, and that the real world is far more demanding of my time than my rigorous 3 hours a day of classes ; so, I've tried to develop little rituals in my week. I purposefully say "yes" to the events and people who help enrich my life and encourage me. That sometimes means learning to say "no", which I have increasingly become worse at doing, the more I get involved in other groups and places. I develop these rituals and "yes" opportunities for my sanity, and I purposefully create times in which I can be challenged by those who love me. I want the people I'm spending time with to deepen my relationship with Christ, and help build disciples. I've had to take steps back from situations asking myself is this person going to encourage me to love others well? Will this conversation pour into me, so I can go and serve others more efficiently? We need to make sure it's people not projects that occupy the sacred places of our lives.

I'm still terrible at saying "no". I over-book, over-commit, over schedule, sleep less, and leave little- to no time for the things that nourish me. I'm still a people pleaser. But, here's a gentle reminder to you (and me), as our school year is fully back in swing; remember, it's ok to say "no".  Create priority and rituals  with your family once a week. Make time for the people who bring joy and transparency to your life, instead of  half-heartedly giving to many different groups of people. Get plugged into a people that will encourage and strengthen you, instead of discourage and wear you down. We were not created to be able to do it all! Praise God for that.