People Thinkers

Confession: You know when you have to take some sort of personality test for a team building project,  a new job, or some kind of application? Well, sometimes, I lie on them. Sometimes I like to think of myself as the exciting, full of energy, punctual, organized, clear thinker and logical decision maker. Now, friends, why is that? The questions like: "Do you make your decisions based on emotions?",  I know the answer is an all caps "YES, YES ALL THE TIME."  But sometimes,  I put, "No, I am logical and reasoning." There are parts of myself that I know are true, but because I would like to be another way, I put the complete opposite answer. That's stupid, and I'm guilty. So, there's that. (Truthfully, I'm an (sometimes an E) INFP, all you Meyers Briggs snobs. Sidenote, My college advisor can meet someone and in 10 minutes, identify their Meyers Briggs personality type. An awesome gift in and of itself. )

I'm so thankful to have people in my life that act as sounding boards, and who are continually providing opportunities for conversations to step into a place of truth and transparency. Those are my most favorite and sacred times with friends. This weekend, a wise, dear friend and I had a conversation about a blog post  (here's the link) by Glennon Melton. She is the author of one of my favorite books so far this year, Carry On Warrior. I don't necessarily agree with everything she writes theologically, but she is a mother who is blazing a trail, encouraging women to form community based upon the simple principles of how we are to love others based on the Gospel. That, I can quickly rally around, because the way she shares her life with others, is solely through transparency... and sarcasm.  Both, of which I love.   I continue to be confronted by her boldness in sharing and living without fear.

Anyway, she wrote this post about how she's discovered three ways at which we view other people. For a brief summary, the first way, is like a child. We look at others without any sight of others' faults. The second way, is seeing the faults of others, and continuing to point them out because we think that makes us smarter; regardless of who hears, or who is hurt by our words. She suggests a lot of people think like a level-two person for most of their lives. The third way, sees the strengths and weaknesses of other people, and the person is able to control\choose when to speak and when to just let the weaknesses be part of who we are as humans.

So, as my sweet friend and I were chatting, the first thing I had to do, was step back from the conversation and evaluate where in the world, did I fit on this scale? I wasn't sure. I would like to think that I'm a level three, mighty, wise-woman. But, as I just shared with you, I tend to lie to myself, to try to cram\fit into another category, because I know it's the better answer. And, it therefore makes me a better person, in comparison to my painful, truthful faults.

This Sunday at youth, Ryan Cobb talked to the middle and high-schoolers about the importance of having people in your life that in a loving and gentle way, keep you accountable, and hold you to a higher standard. So, parents, teachers, leaders and older siblings, how do we challenge and lead our kids into the gentle and loving ways of accountability, like a level-three thinker. How do we teach our kids to control their words- and how they think about others? How do we teach our kids to seek the goodness of others before pointing to the faults?

Unfortunately, I don't have an answer for you. But, I do know that the transformation in our ways of thinking about others, comes from the Gospel. It comes from Christ invading our hearts, and the way in which we view the world , coming through a lens of love and grace... and not through superiority. So, in essence, we need more of Jesus. Jesus changes everything. He changes our thinking, our acting, our conversations, our relationships and our prideful need to be better.

Maybe this is a great week for you to do some honest self-evaluation. Trust me, I know it's hard. How do we need to change what we're saying around our kids? What do we need to start saying more in front of our kids, to show them the level-three way of thinking exists!?

I'm hoping Glennon's blog challenges you, confronts you, and allows you to be honest with yourself for a little while today. What kind of thinker are you- and what kind do you want to be?