Apart From Performance

Being the oldest of three, is a gift... sometimes. Luckily, being the oldest and the least bright academically out of all three, I didn't have to follow in the steps of my sister and brother, both who strived to achieve academic fame. I pretty much, in high school, did the bare minimum. But still managed to make decent grades, I took advanced classes, and did great, but nothing like how my siblings have done in their high school classes.

As I was applying to college, and taking the SAT what seemed like 17 times, just to break the score that was needed for a hefty financial scholarship, I had a small group leader who reminded me "You are more than your numbers."I knew that, but after receiving a bit of pressure to achieve a certain SAT score and GPA, it was refreshing to hear encouragement apart from what my parents, who were going to pay for my college, and what my high school was telling me. I appreciate a good challenge, and work well under pressure, but there are times in your life that it's very overwhelming.  I remember walking out the door to take my last SAT at 7:00am, in hopes of elevating my score 20 points. Yes, 20 points. Miniscule.  I was almost in tears as my parents pushed me out the door and said "YOU don't have a choice"! If I were following in my brother's footsteps, who has a 5. something GPA, I probably wouldn't have seen the light of day in high school. Cheers, to you, Wilson, for being the last and bringing up the rear at our house in such a stellar way. You're making up for your sisters' delinquencies. (PS, I managed to bring up my SAT score. THANK the Maker.)

In my bible, I stuff and stick notes or handouts and use them as reminders of events and people who have encouraged me in my walk with Christ. I found this bookmark that my sweet small group leader, Dana, made for us in high school which sparked this whole post. (Dana, you rock, I'm so thankful for how your encouragement has followed me into ministry.) It says " MY Self Worth= God's Truth About Me"

Maybe you should ask your kids tonight where they are most proud, and most pressured. I think that will give you a lot of answers about their own value of self.


How are you reminding your children of their self-worth? How are you reminding them that their worth is apart from what they've done, but what God has done on their behalf?


Are you telling them that a "91" test grade isn't acceptable enough? Would they say your approval and praise only comes after an achievement at school or in a sport? Is their definition of self worth wrapped up in numbers? If so, how did it get to be that way?


Chew on that for a few minutes.


I think all kids and teenagers need to be affirmed in a way that is apart from their performances. Why? Because that's how God's goodness and grace works! If we are to be modeling unconditional love, kindness, and compassion to our kids it starts apart from an academic performance. Our jobs as people who love children, are to show them the unconditional love of Christ, apart from their bad grades, dropped passes, or slow times. Hey, I'm preaching to myself. It's hard for me as a Children's Minister to see past bad behavior and still continue to love and proclaim their value when they have disappointed me. I get why it's hard. I'm there with you!  Dalton is one of the most competitive communities I've ever been apart of, we need to remind our kids that their worth doesn't come from how well they do. Scripture tells us that. Our works don't earn us the love of God. Which is the opposite of what this society is blasting upon them. They need to be reminded that they:


"Have great worth apart from their performance because Christ gave His life for me, and therefore imparted great value to me. They are deeply loved, fully pleasing, totally forgiven, accepted and complete in Christ."