An Anchor in Doubt

January 2012-  one year ago, was the most draining month of my life. I had been offered a call to ministry in Dalton, GA and I was a home-body who loved (and still loves) everything about Greenville, SC... the two, in my mind, couldn't co-inside. It was going to be impossible for me to live in Georgia when I wanted so badly to be in South Carolina with most of my friends and family. But, during my visit to Dalton the previous month in December, I knew where God was calling me to be. The car ride home consisted of my mom and I talking about the only negative thing about the church in Dalton was the distance from home. THAT was the only thing.  It's hard to fight against that when the Lord was so intent on leading me here.  None of my roommates had begun interviewing for jobs yet and I was faced with really tough choices before anyone around me was doing the same. So, the month of tears began.

I cried and cried and cried.... the same time almost every night when my roommates were gathered in the living room watching TV and "studying", I would sneak away to my room and call my parents in tears. It was a routine in January. I would come out of my room, all blotched faced and teary and my sweet and loving roommates would mute the TV and lovingly listen... almost every night. That month was so hard and so emotional but, it was a month in which the Lord was molding and preparing my heart to be here in Dalton. Basically, it was a month of me dragging my feet. I was scared... shoot, I still AM scared! I knew the Lord was calling me to Dalton, but everything that I knew that was familiar, pleasant and comfortable was in South Carolina. I don't like being forced out of my comfort zone. But, that was surely what God was doing.

When I called and officially accepted the position here in Dalton, a month and a half after it was offered, I cried throughout the whole phone call. But, I realized they weren't the same tears. They were tears of relief and me facing my fears and insecurities face on. I knew the Lord was calling me to Georgia, I was just being selfish clinging to everything I knew that was routine and familiar. It was a day filled with joy and celebrating. My roommates and I went out to dinner and celebrated that night and while I was sitting at the table, I received a text message from a dear mentor from home. I hadn't spoken to her that week and she had no idea that I had accepted the position in Dalton that morning.  I still have the text saved... this is what it said:

" E! I'm praying this over you tonight. God is calling you to new and great things-- take HOPE and comfort in these words: " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." You know you've been called, E. Go for it. I love you so ! I'm calling to check in tomorrow. "

May those reviving words from Romans be as much of a comfort to you as they still are to me today.  On days when I've doubted my abilities and ideas, those words are always on the forefront of my mind. In all things that happen, the Lord works for the good of me because I love him. That promise is refreshing and such an anchor in my doubt...and my faith!  Remind your children of that promise over and over-- memorize this passage with them. Believe it yourself! Model and show this assuredness in the Lord's promises to them. They mimic your ideas, beliefs and how you carry yourself.. show them that in the midst of fear, the Lord still is working and He is always at work! I'm living proof:)