Children in Crisis

I don't have adequate words to express how I have been shaken to the core after the masacre in Connecticut. I spent the afternoon Friday sitting in front of the TV, probably like many of you, dumbfounded that something like this had taken place. I sat and wept thinking about the Children's Ministers at the churches in Newtown.  I wouldn't know how to do pastoral care with the entirety of my kids at our church. All of those children lost friends or teachers.  St. Rose of Lima Catholic Church lost 8 kids from their congregation. Eight. I cannot even fathom loosing eight of my precious, wild and loving kids. My heart literally aches thinking about a congregation loosing eight of their own.

I've always been passionate Pastoral Care with Families and Children. Before I felt called to Children's Ministry I thought I was going to do Counseling for the rest of my life. I was going to attend more school and do Family Counseling professionally. (But, the Lord obviously had different plans for me!)

According to Havighurst, the well-known developmental psychologist, children learn attitudes three ways : (1) by imitating attitudes who the child admires and respects, (2) through a collection of experiences with the given idea (either pleasant or unpleasant) and (3) through a single intense, deeply emotional experience with an object, situation or person.

So, Parents, Grandparents, friends and mentors,  here's what I know: Talk. If your child has been exposed to any of the media about the shooting through the news, conversations or pictures... talk about it. Listen to their fears, questions, disbelief and anger. Don't overlook it, don't ignore it because you don't know what to say.  You don't have to be able to answer questions  because so many of the questions cannot be answered.  Allow your child to know how much you're willing to go through to protect them and keep them safe.

Remind them that God is always in control.

Remind them that even in the midst of this darkness and doubt- God's shines through and demolishes                darkness.

Remind them that the Lord goes with them wherever they go- His love for them is greater than any love they know.

Remind them that the only way to heal from tragedy and loss is to spend time with the Lord through scripture, prayer and the community. The Lord provides healing, comfort and restoration that we cannot find anywhere else.

If any of your children are struggling with the "tough stuff" please let me know. I would love to help equip any parents with  books or tools in how to help your child heal.  I leave you with this excerpt I read in an article today- so profound and so true.

Nothing we can say or do will ease the pain. Nothing will justify the shootings, or make any sense of it. But make no mistake—when Jesus came to earth, it was so that He could set in motion events that would culminate in a Kingdom where there is no more crying or grief. Where there are no senseless murders. Where the world will finally be new. And where the meaning of Christmas—the true meaning of Christmas—will finally be made joyfully, wholly evident.

And until that day, there is no better way to mourn the victims of a confusing, evil world and to celebrate the birth of a strange, wonderful child than to enter into the darkness ourselves, and shine a light.